Ten Towels

I am a recent convert to gym going. Never had anything against it in the past. My issue was being against myself and not taking the time and effort to exercise. But now I do. 

The gym is also an environmental disaster. Not really, but in a small way. I haven’t done the research. I’ve read the same articles on the internet as everyone else. From my most basic and rudimentary of understandings I believe that global shipping and logistics contributes to a gargantuan percentage of climate change related emissions. I think that a small number of giant corporations doing giant corporation-y things account for the next biggest chunk. And way behind in a distant third place is my gym and the number of my towels they have to wash after every visit I make. And I go every single day.

When starting out I’ll take a trifecta of the smallest versions of towels to use during my workout. One regular small sized towel. One small sized towel infused with nice smelling things and slightly cold and wet for refreshing wipe-downs of my face, and finally a second regular small sized towel to lay on the floor at each stop in my workout so that the towels I’m using to wipe myself don’t ever have to touch the ground.

These are the only towels that I’ll use for a 45 minute to one hour workout. Which is quite restrained considering what I do next. When I’m finished with my exercises and ready to scrub up this is where the real emissions come in. On the way back to the locker room I’ll take one more of the small sized scented cold awesome relaxing towels and bring it to the locker room with me. This is going to come in handy really soon. Next on the way to my locker I’ll pick up my first large sized towel which I will use to hide my shame, as Marge so eloquently put it, while I get undressed and walk to the steam room.

The steam room is my favorite place in the gym. When I signed up a while back but was still not particularly motivated to work out I was known to, on occasion, go to the gym to simply undress and steam and shower and leave. It’s not bad for you whatsoever but it’s probably not good for you either. These days I relish the steam room experience even more because I’ve actually done some work to earn it. I walk to the steam room covered in nothing but my large sized towel and slides on my feet. But before I enter the hot room I grab another large sized towel which I’ll use to cover my back so I can lean against any of the surfaces in the steam room and yet not have direct content. I did say I was prissy. Oh this is the first time? Well I said it now. I also bring in my small sized scented towel which I throw over my head ghost-style and sit to breathe in the essential oils while I sweat out what should not be kept in.

After the steam room I’ll discard the now super warm small sized essential oils towel and the large sized back-covering towel and pick out a new towel which will be what I dry myself with after the shower. On the way out of the shower I discard the large sized towel that I used to maintain my modesty while steaming and pick up a new large-sized towel which will go over my shoulders and act as an all purpose wiper while I shave. Good for cleaning my face of shaving cream. Drying my face so I can moisturize, and then wiping down the water off the bench in front of me because I am not an animal and my parents taught me better than to leave a mess.

After the shave and skin care routine I discard the wiping towel and pick up two more large sized towels which will be the final ones I need for my journey. One is immediately splayed out on the floor in front of my locker so I never have to step barefoot to bare tile. I have similar proclivities to the European Dukes of old I am aware. The final towel is for final checks. I’m already relatively dry but my hair sometimes needs a little rubbing and frizzing and I can do with a little dabbing on damp patches so I am presentable to the world. And then I walk out of the gym - after tidying up behind myself of course - feeling wonderful and fresh and glad that I made the effort to go stretch my limbs.

Keeping count, that's ten towels. I am aware this seems like a lot. I am aware that it is a lot. I will not change my behavior whatsoever other than to reserve the chance to add further towels into the rotation at a later date should I discover a use for more. My time at the gym makes me so happy and I wouldn’t want to change a thing right now. Other than to go more.