Marcus

Marcus was a hero to me. DJ, producer, record label owner. Beloved bon vivant. While I knew him from the drum n bass scene that was so big in my hometown Marcus was an eclectic musician and could never be confined to one genre. He produced dark, atmospheric, yet funky 4/4 music under the name Trevino. He might have had other aliases too. Marcus was so prolific and creative he refused to be shackled to one single genre of art.

Outside of the studio and into the world, Marcus was a traveler playing shows everywhere from sun-kissed beaches in Europe to forests in Australia and everywhere in between. He was in demand. I’m not a promoter but I could see his tour dates online and he appeared to have no issues getting work.

I’ll always remember the New Year party where Marcus went straight from delivering a belting set behind the turntables right out into the crowd to dance and feel the music being played by the next DJs on the bill. He wasn’t out on the dance floor for attention. This is in the age before selfies and Marcus seemed to purely love the vibe. He only stopped dancing when the lights came on. There’s nothing like that feeling of exiting a club you’ve been encased within all night long and walking outside into the most beautiful morning light. Marcus had many tunes that could have soundtracked this moment perfectly.

The tunes. They felt like they came from the heart. There’s too many to list. Discogs will show you that. Early morning. Party is over, but let’s keep it going. Oh you live nearby? I would be honored to come round and meet new friends. We will peel away eventually, but those moments of belonging with people who share the same passion as you were beyond meaningful. Marcus had a tune for everything.

I was envious. I want to be able to produce music as smooth as silk. Something to make your hips move involuntarily. A sound to bring strangers together and enable them to leave as friends. I want to travel around the world going from party to party, club to club. I love hotels. I’m sure Marcus stayed in a thousand of them. I’m sure he slept less than I would. He would have been too busy absorbing the energy of all those around him and then giving it back out again. Marcus had everything I wanted. He was an idol.

Then Marcus killed himself. I don’t know why. Maybe those close to him do. And maybe they don't. That’s just one of the messed up things about suicide. Some people understandably don’t take the time to explain themselves. And why would they? An explanation is for you. Someone taking their own life is a personal decision. I hate it. But human beings are going to do what they are going to do.

I’m sure someone could have helped. I didn’t know Marcus personally but I would have given him anything. He had so many friends. So many people all over the globe admired him. All of this tends to come out once the deed is done. And in the end it all finished with him alone. I hate it. But it’s got nothing to do with me at all. I didn’t get a say. Neither did his friends and family. Desperation can be like that.

I think about Marcus often. I listen to his music all the time. It has affected me profoundly. I write this to say thanks, Marcus. You’re still my idol to this day. And your star burns ever bright all these years later.