Squirrels Part II

What would your technique be if you were a squirrel chasing another squirrel around a tree trunk?

Let’s assume for this exercise that squirrels are relatively evenly matched. Not that this would necessarily be the case. In all walks of life we have bigger, smaller, faster, slower, wiser, dumber. There are so many factors that someone making the line would take into consideration. For this particular scenario we’re assuming two squirrels of relatively equal age and size and intelligence. 

The start point is key. Did the confrontation begin in the tree or on the ground? If it started in the tree then I would posit that the squirrel with the high ground would immediately hold the advantage. Despite being the coolest and best and most good looking creatures to emerge from the big bang squirrels are still subject to gravity. Going down is faster than coming up because you have Newton’s Favorite on your side.

The shape of the tree plays a big part. The oaks in North Hollywood Park (named after me, didn’t you know?) are various angles and contours of gnarled and bulbous points. Like an F1 driver taking a two mile walk on the Thursday before practice, gaining knowledge of the track could be the difference between making a successful circumnavigation and ending up in the proverbial tire wall. In this case that would mean one of the squirrels using its knowledge of the course to gain an advantage. Possibly a shortcut. Thereby, allowing it to catch up to the other squirrel. Like winning a game of noughts and crosses. Unlikely. But it does happen if you’re a lot smarter than the person you’re playing.

What would even happen if a squirrel in this situation caught the squirrel it was chasing? I have no idea I’ve never seen it happen. I don’t think it would end with one squirrel feasting on the guts of its slower or less intelligent opponent. Maybe it’s a ‘Tag’ situation and the game starts all over again. I’ve spent the last fifteen minutes watching this contest and there’s no end in sight. I actually do need to get to work now.